29th BIrthday

I keep on thinking about how I started dating Nick when I was 20! For my 21st birthday he took me to a UNLV basketball game and then 3 days after proposed. Yesterday I turned 29 and am feeling old. Okay, maybe not old but I do feel like the time just went by too fast. I still feel 19 and yet I am having my 3rd baby any day. Time is a funny thing, how it speeds up and slows down. An hour can seem forever but a year can go by in is a flash. I pray that year 29 goes nice and slow!!

To celebrate Nick and I went to lunch and then we had a jacuzzi party at my moms. These two girls sang me happy birthday all day and were so excited to help me blow out candles. 

Halloween Celebrations

October was a month of Halloween activities. One of our favorites was visiting the pumpkin patch...4 times!! The girls slowly watched it be built as we drove past it everyday. Then they begged to go in and ride the big slides and go on the rides. We went 3 times as a family and then once with Scarlett's preschool. It was like going to Disneyland every time!! We have been telling them since March that the baby will come after Halloween. Now that it is past they bug me everyday for a baby brother:)

Their favorite ride. 

Halloween night was spent at my parents and going trick-or-treating around Hillsboro. We had wassle, pumpkin cookies, and a yummy dinner before we took off to get candy. My mom always does such a great job with the chaos of Halloween night... food, candy, crazy kids, costumes, last minute sewing ect! The girls loved going house to house and when their buckets were full they did not want to stop. My little Elsa and Ana sure make every holiday better!!

It's rare moments of sweetness that keep this little girl alive!

We went trick-or-treating with this crazy group of boys

I am super proud of her hair! She has baby fine hair and I was able to do a pretty good "Elsa braid" with it.

Our pumpkin that Scarlett carved and Alice was scared of. The girls have wanted to Elsa and Ana for months! Thanks to my mom they had the cutest dresses of all.

Fall Soccer

Is she not the cutest soccer player?! We love going to her practices and games. It gets us all out of the house and enjoying the these Indian summer days. Scarlett loves to kick the ball but really has no idea what is going on or where to kick it.  Her smile is so genuine that I don't have the heart to tell her she is doing it wrong. Whenever she kicks it she runs over to me and asks "Mom did you see me? I kicked it!" Kids make everything better.

While at practice and the games Alice walks up and down the sidelines talking to everyone!! And I mean everyone! Today at practice she talked to Teresa about eating rocks and getting sick. Last week she talked to an older man whose name was Jesus. She was very confused and kept calling him "Hey you." Half the time she is in full princess get up (dress, shoes, necklace, crown) and causes quite the scene walking across the park. Oh Alice, please stay two forever! 

She loves her ball and gets so excited to bring it to games because the coach uses it at the game ball. It's like she is a celebrity because her ball was chosen:)

Conference Weekend

Conference weekend was spent just like I love...cabin,family, food, hikes, and good inspiration. The whole family loved spending time with Ashton cousins and enjoying beautiful Midway. It's official, I want a home in the mountains.

Stewart Falls

Pregancy

I have a constant internal battle of wanting these last few weeks to go super fast and on the other hand super slow. Taking care of yet another newborn makes me nervous but this endless heart burn and waddling is tiring. I adore just having two little girls but a cute boys sure makes me excited. My schedule is routine and easy,which I love, yet I am ready for change. The great thing about this debate is that I have no control over it. Pregnancy ends and the baby will come.

We have yet to decide on a name despite what feels like hours pouring over boy names. Nick wants this and I want that and then we both change. The names is too old sounding and others sound like they only fit a 3 year old. Once again this debate is out of my control. Pregnancy ends, the baby will come, and he must be named.

Like the first two pregnancies the second half is very smooth and I can still do everything I really want. I only have the typical aches, pains, and inability to bend over. I have noticed that I am more tired this time around despite sleeping 9+ hours at night and taking naps. Maybe its because he is a boy or because my girls keep me busy? No way to figure it out. He is a late mover and only in the past couple weeks have I really felt him kick around. I really want the girls to feel him move but they never have to 5 seconds of patience to keep their hands on my belly. But they still understand that their is a baby in there and that after Halloween (the only time frame they understand) a boy is coming. Whenever I leave the house alone they ask if I will come home with the baby. I tell them one day I will but not today.
 I love feeling him squirm around and the comfort his movements bring. He is still in there...sigh of relief! But in 5 weeks he will be out and the real work begins.

35 weeks pregnant

Nick made me feed the horse. 

Can I Love 3?

With each new baby I am confused about how I can love another. I understand that I will love this little boy but I just don't understand how. My heart is so completely in love with my girls. How can there be room enough in my heart? I guess my heart will just have to grow another size and it will. It is so incredible to me how someone you never met can fill so much of you. I think about this boy all the time and even without having met

him my heart is changing.  I can not imagine life without Alice or Scarlett. Literally, the thought of their absence leaves me filling hollow. Yet, they have only been in my life a few short years. Parenthood takes you down a path of love that has no return. Once you give your heart to your child it is theirs forever. I pray everyday my children learn to understand the depth of my love and how precious they are.

"My love for my children is profound, but because we spend our days living, working, surviving we don't stop much to feel how deep we love. 

And I find it just a little unsettling, but at least I know, there is no bottom to that love. There's no threshold to hold it all in. I closed my eyes and saw my soul as an infinite series of chambers where my love continued to fall deeper and deeper in and out of rooms with doors that opened but never shut. And I wonder if this concept is the only hard proof we have that a conscious eternity does in fact exist? It is the only thing I know for sure that doesn't end. Where does all that love go if there is no eternity to fill it?

I learned this week something I knew before but never really understood: a broken heart is the very instrument we use to understand how deep we love."

Time passes

I have been making baby books for the girls these past couple weeks. It is a goal to get them all done before the baby. Oh ya, I am pregnant. I forget some days and I never know how many weeks I am so don't ask. I am somewhere in my third trimester and not close enough for delivery to be to concerned. Anyway, as I go through pictures for their baby books I am amazed at how fast the time has gone. It was just yesterday Alice was a sweet baby. Just yesterday that Scarlett was two with the worst mullet around. It went by fast. I thought I would never forget Scarlett's two year old face or the sound of her baby voice but I have. I look at her in the pictures and think "oh ya, that is what she looked like". Same with Alice. I never thought I would forget that baby stage but I have. I am thankful for iphone videos and hundreds of pictures to remind me of my babies.

This has made me enjoy my days more. I look at these sweet girls and know that in just a few short moments I will forget this stage. I try not to get sentimental about time passing and instead be proactive. I try to spend more individual time talking and playing with them. I try to get them to laugh more and make memories with them. When Alice naps Scarlett and I practice letters, read stories, and eat cookies. When Scarlett is at school Alice and I go on a "date". Really we just go to the library or the park but she calls it her "date" with mom. She loves to be in control of the music choice in the car while Scarlett is away. We end up listening to the same song over and over. I have learned not to care and instead drink in these precious moments. I adore my 4 and 2 year old and having just them. Adding another little one will throw things off for a while and it makes me nervous. Three kids better be as awesome as two!!

My sweet girls in summer of 2012