Mother of the Moment

I often feel just like that... I let the moment decide how I mother. If the moment is crazy, such as getting out the door while holding a baby carrier and shoes and trying to feed the cat and Scarlett begging to be held, then I am crazy. I push Scarlett out the door and shove the car seat in the car with hurried frustration. I drive away in a frazzle. If the moment is maddening, such as a complete diaper blowout or permanent marker drawn on clothes/body/light wood dresser, then I am mad. I raise my voice and drag said perpetrator to timeout in an angry mess of tears and kicking and screaming (usually by both of us). If everything is under control then I feel peace and love on my babies. In short, I do not control my emotions or the moment. I can be calm in a stressful situation and kind in a naughty one. I can be... but I am not.

I came to this disappointing realization while reading the Ensign yesterday. I had a rare moment to myself and opened it to read something while I ate lunch. I was reading about the prophet's, Thomas Monson, mother. She was overly kind and he said that their home was filled with charity. I had this overwhelming desire to have a home like that and to be called kind. This mother was in control, despite having naughty kids and a messy kitchen. I am sure that she became angry at times but they were few and far between. She disciplined with love and not with anger and in a moment of craziness she stopped and took a calming breath. She had the emotional and inner strength to decide how she would mother. I feel like my actions are sand in a windy storm, blowing here and there. I want to be the rock, grounded and rooted in place. To know the type of mother I want to be and be it, know matter what the moment dictates. My toddler dumps apple juice on a freshly mopped floor and I calmly approach her, take her little hand and lead her to the time out chair. I discuss in a kind but firm voice her wrong doing and end it in a hug. That is my goal. I will have moments of weakness, as every mother does but I want them few and far between. That is my goal. I want to raise my children so they won't have a temper or a "short fuse", like I do. I want to raise them so they are better than me in every way. That is my goal. I must remember that as a woman I have the power to create a feeling of love and respect in my home. In fact, it is my duty to do so. So do it!

Both of my babies at 2 weeks. Aren't they gems!

Scarlett

Alice

This is my day... a perfect moment captured

Temples

A couple months back we had a very short family home evening on temples. Scarlett loved it and since then has been obsessed with temples. She builds them out of her blocks and runs up to me "temple mom, temple". As we drive she points to every building and claims it is a temple. She also loves me to sing the "temple song" (I Love to See the Temple primary song). It is cute until round 100 at the end of the day. We have a primary song cd in the car and she begs to listen to the "temple song". Even as I write this I am laughing because she asks to listen to it by growling/screaming "temple song, temple song" over and over. Very reverent of her. She is such a cute little girl, always asking for hugs and kisses and saying "i wuv you". Simply put, she loves attention!

excited that she found a temple in the Ensign

her temples

Such a cute mess of toys . In 30 years I will look at this picture and miss my little Scarlett so much.

At Lowes buying supplies for our garden. She insisted on wearing her "eyes"

Alice 1 Month

She is very loved in our house. Scarlett loves to bounce her while she sits in her bouncer and Nick loves to snuggle with her in the early hours of the morning. I love on her all day and kiss her chubby cheeks. She is weighing in at 9 pounds and is 22.5 inches (above 95%). Long and skinny, that seems to be a family trend. She sleeps great at night (up at 2 am and 5 am) until around 5-6 when she starts to her "grunting fest" as we call it. That's when she snuggles with Nick in our bed. It melts my heart because she calms right down. She is beautiful and perfect and I love being her mom. In fact, 2 children makes mother only better. If it is possible I love Scarlett more and I am adjusting better than I thought. Best of all, Alice is starting to give me precious smiles. That's right... just me!

5 th Anniversary

It has been a fantastic 5 years. That can be attributed to marrying the best and most kind man. He is so willing to work hard and take charge. Best of all, our children love him. Scarlett screams with delight whenever he comes home and Alice is calmed simply by lying next to him. To celebrate we went to an amazing Italian joint on the strip called Maggianos. Nick called early and got us the best seat in the house. It was outside and overlooked the strip and all the glorious lights. We got tons of good food and ate it all! Now that's a celebration.

Grandma Camp

My sweet, little grandma Camp (Peggy) passed away late Friday night. I was lucky enough to see her earlier that day and hold her hand and tell I loved her. She was very sleepy but she awoke and smiled when I showed her baby Alice. It is amazing how the Lord taken and giveth. Just as a glorious little girl comes into my life another glorious woman leaves. Her room was so peaceful and filled with a very warm spirit. When she passed she was surrounded by all 7 of her children and on the other side she was, I am sure, greeted by her parents. My most fond memory of my grandma was her bread. I loved to help her make it and eat it. Being the healthy person she was, she would put honey in it instead of sugar. It tasted devine. She would also take my hand before every parting and look me in the eyes and say " You are beautiful and sweet. Just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the out." When I was younger an old lady looking deeply in my eyes frightened me just a little but as I grew I came to really appreciate her goodbye words. I love you!

Alice 2 weeks

- Even more beautiful ( she has lucious lips)

- weighing in at 8 pounds and measuring 21.75 inches (super tall and skinny)

- is "grunty" just like Scarlett

- much better day sleeper than night sleeper

- I love her ... a lot