Can I Love 3?

With each new baby I am confused about how I can love another. I understand that I will love this little boy but I just don't understand how. My heart is so completely in love with my girls. How can there be room enough in my heart? I guess my heart will just have to grow another size and it will. It is so incredible to me how someone you never met can fill so much of you. I think about this boy all the time and even without having met

him my heart is changing.  I can not imagine life without Alice or Scarlett. Literally, the thought of their absence leaves me filling hollow. Yet, they have only been in my life a few short years. Parenthood takes you down a path of love that has no return. Once you give your heart to your child it is theirs forever. I pray everyday my children learn to understand the depth of my love and how precious they are.

"My love for my children is profound, but because we spend our days living, working, surviving we don't stop much to feel how deep we love. 

And I find it just a little unsettling, but at least I know, there is no bottom to that love. There's no threshold to hold it all in. I closed my eyes and saw my soul as an infinite series of chambers where my love continued to fall deeper and deeper in and out of rooms with doors that opened but never shut. And I wonder if this concept is the only hard proof we have that a conscious eternity does in fact exist? It is the only thing I know for sure that doesn't end. Where does all that love go if there is no eternity to fill it?

I learned this week something I knew before but never really understood: a broken heart is the very instrument we use to understand how deep we love."

Time passes

I have been making baby books for the girls these past couple weeks. It is a goal to get them all done before the baby. Oh ya, I am pregnant. I forget some days and I never know how many weeks I am so don't ask. I am somewhere in my third trimester and not close enough for delivery to be to concerned. Anyway, as I go through pictures for their baby books I am amazed at how fast the time has gone. It was just yesterday Alice was a sweet baby. Just yesterday that Scarlett was two with the worst mullet around. It went by fast. I thought I would never forget Scarlett's two year old face or the sound of her baby voice but I have. I look at her in the pictures and think "oh ya, that is what she looked like". Same with Alice. I never thought I would forget that baby stage but I have. I am thankful for iphone videos and hundreds of pictures to remind me of my babies.

This has made me enjoy my days more. I look at these sweet girls and know that in just a few short moments I will forget this stage. I try not to get sentimental about time passing and instead be proactive. I try to spend more individual time talking and playing with them. I try to get them to laugh more and make memories with them. When Alice naps Scarlett and I practice letters, read stories, and eat cookies. When Scarlett is at school Alice and I go on a "date". Really we just go to the library or the park but she calls it her "date" with mom. She loves to be in control of the music choice in the car while Scarlett is away. We end up listening to the same song over and over. I have learned not to care and instead drink in these precious moments. I adore my 4 and 2 year old and having just them. Adding another little one will throw things off for a while and it makes me nervous. Three kids better be as awesome as two!!

My sweet girls in summer of 2012

First Day of Pre-K

Summer is over. I am trying to adjust to that fact but really summer went by too fast! If Scarlett was not so excited to start school I would have to shed a few tears. I dropped her off today at Little Stars Preschool. She was beaming, of course, and ran off with her 2 little friends. I am so excited to see her progress this year and spend my afternoons with her. Next year kindergarten will be ALL day so my quiet afternoons drawing, watching Frozen, and doing play-do with her will be over. It will take a good year for me to accept that. Until then I will just enjoy every minute of her sweetness.

I had to fill out a short forum on her when I dropped her off. She helped me get it just right.

Favorite Movie: Despicable Me and Frozen
Favorite Book: Fancy Nancy and Curious George
Favorite activity: swimming
What she wants to be when she is grown up: A mom. She wants to feed her kids breakfast and get them all dressed. ( melt my heart)
Her personality: I filled this out and all I wanted to put down was "perfect in every way". She is tender hearted, a people pleaser, social, and silly.

Alice was heart broken she did not get to go to school. Many tears were shed

She had to read me the sign " Scarlett Jocelyn's first day of preschool". Close

Camp Reunion

When we all get together it gets pretty crazy!! But with that crazy comes an insane amount of fun and laughs. We all met up at the cabin (flakes, camps, strobelts) and had 3 days to spend together. The kids loved being together and there was always some little person to play with. Lets see... 11 kids under 9 is quite the party! My girls could not have been more lucky in the cousin department. For activities we spent an afternoon at the park/pond, had a treasure hunt in the woods, and went fishing. The fishing was very entertaining with fish being caught every 5 minutes. We threw about half back but still left with over 15 trout!! Alice loved seeing the fish squirm around but refused to touch them. As always it was a sad goodbye as  we waved goodbye to Brady and his family.  The memories we made will have to last us till we see them all again!

My mom made these dress ups for the little girls... they were just a little excited:) 2 Elsa's and an Ana

Treasure

These past couple weeks Scarlett has been on a "treasure" hunt. Every where we go she finds little pieces of garbage/plants/buttons/bottle caps on the ground and claims they are "treasure". She takes them home and puts them in her "treasure cups". Alice has joined in, of course, and my house has become littered with these "treasure cups". Pretty much my house is full of garbage:). We also can not go a day without dress up...it's become an obsession. Oh the life of little girls. What will life be like when the boy comes? Probably all this plus trains and planes:)

Scarlett has discovered play-dough and just loves it!! She builds letters, butterflys, houses, worms, and cars for hours. It has become a great activity for her to do while Alice takes a nap.

Alice and her "treasure cup"

It's Their Half Birthday!!

I just think of both girls as the same age but they are more than 2 years apart. Little Alice closes the age gap with all her talking, opinions, and demands that she is 4 years old. Alice is only 2.5 and Scarlett is 4.5 but they are mistaken for twins daily. They are the best little friends and love each other about 90% of the time. The other 10%... well lets just say there is a lot of wailing and nashing of teeth! Of course the fighting happens during those horrible late afternoon hours when I have zero patience. I would get them out of the house during those hours but then I face the hot afternoon sun. That is worse than fighting toddlers so I deal with it (not well usually:). Then Nick comes home and saves the day!

Scarlett at 4.5 years old- Scarlett is the biggest sweet heart with the most tender demeanor. She is our  peace maker and jumps at any opportunity to help the family. She loves to spend her afternoons coloring pictures of rainbows, butterflies, fairies, hearts, birds, and her family. Everyday she makes me a birthday card and tapes it shut. I open it and she tells me all about what the picture is.  She is obsessed with her birthday and when she sees something she wants she says "can I get that for my birthday on December 17th when I turn 5?". I say yes. So far she wants a pink bike with pedals, a Frozen castle, treasure, and a hello kitty cake. Of course she loves everything princess, pink, and fluffy. It's all about dress up and being Elsa from Frozen.  I love my Scarlett and the person she is growing up to be. I love that in her prayers she blesses the prophet, missionaries, and that we can all have "have happy hearts and choose the right".  She is always there to give me a hug and kiss whenever I want! If there was ever an angel on earth it would be my sweet Scarlett.

My cards. In them I am a butterfly fairy that is flying over flowers and under a rainbow. 

She dressed herself.

Alice at 2.5 year old- Alice is our daily entertainment. One minute she is snuggling and the next she is making everyone cry. I know that her strong, fierce personality will be a great blessing but these days it causes a lot of problems. I am waiting for these terrible twos to pass so I know what part of her personality is her and what part is just the age. Regardless, we all can't help but adore her! She is extremely socialy and talks to everyone and I mean everyone! This past Sunday during sacrament meeting she held an hour conversation with the kind lady behind us about necklaces, babies, treasure, and grandpas. We tried our best to get her to stop but it did no good. If she is awake her mouth is going and if you are near her than she will talk to you. She is in love with princesses (even more than Scarlett) and knows all their names. I tease her and mix up the princesses names and she get so upset at me. I love it. She insists on wearing a dress everyday because she is a princess too. She also loves/hates/is fascinated by sharks. We talk about them all day, read books about them, and talk about them some more. No matter how hard I try she insists they live in grandmas pool and will eat her/nibble her toes (don't worry she still loves to swim).  Which reminds me, she is stubborn and bossy. Not just a little but to the extreme! We sing songs together at night and she stubbornly insisted I sing one about cockroaches. Who is this girl?! Finally, I gave in a made one up. It is her favorite song and I sing about the baby cockroach that lives in the garage every night. Everyday is an adventure with this girl and I love me some baby Alice!! I swear God made her extra cute with her blonde curls and blue eyes just to help me get through the day without killing her!